so I wrote a post a few months back that we were planning to do IUI for baby 2 so that I could try for a bio baby.  but something just kept bringing me back to the two remaining embryos we had.  I also have PCOS and so the thought of doing a medicated IUI scared the poop out of me since it could increase the likelihood of twins which brought on heavy anxiety.

anyhoo … after thinking long and hard, we decided to do RIVF again.  when I look at Parker, how could I not want another little him!?  And we had these embryos, so why not bring one home.

unfortunately, the one embryo did not survive the thaw and the remaining embryo, which was transferred into me, didn’t stay with us.  it was devastating.  we just always assumed that these two little embryos would totally turn into our babies one day.  now, left with nothing, we were back to square one.

since there are two women, we obviously have choices.  Jordana does not want to carry and I definitely do, but we have two sets of eggs.  but again, we decided that RIVF was best for our family.  It’s less on my body not going through an egg retrieval and it allows us both to be part of the process and feel super connected to the baby.  Yes, IUI would be the least amount on my body, but again, we both want to be part of it and IVF has a much higher chance of success than IUI and I know my mental health and know that if we experienced negative after negative, I would spiral.  now, it doesn’t mean we’ll get pregnant right away with IVF (though we did with Parker), but I feel more in control of the outcome (and I’m a total control freak!).

IVF is insanely expensive.  worth every penny but phew!  our insurance doesn’t cover any part of the retrieval of transfer or any of Jordana’s medications to stimulate her ovaries.  they do cover my transfer medications and blood work and ultrasounds but so far, we’ve spent 30K on Parker plus the previous failed transfer.  I can’t wait for a day where all insurance covers fertility treatments regardless of sexual orientation or reason.

we’re now waiting for Jordana’s cycle to begin, which might happen when we’re out in California, so she’ll go on birth control for a few days so we can start the process as soon as we get back.

lots of needles and waiting and hoping and praying.  all worth it for another squishy little babe!